13 things only drunk people can do

13 things only drunk people can do

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Often drunk people are considered a nuisance to society. Not here, not today. 

For now, we will celebrate our weekend alter-egos. The alter-egos society, our friends, parents and strangers alike have unanimously decided were the “worst version of ourselves.” Let us take a moment away to examine what, when we are slurring our words and calling our engaged exes, we really bring to the table.

Here, friends, in this safe and supportive place, we celebrate all the things drunk people can do that no one else can. Read more…

1. Survive insane falls

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Kid who can’t handle being grounded for a day overreacts like only a 9 year old can


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Ahh the pains of being 9 years old. All the angst of a teenager and no idea what to do with it. 

Sometimes the only solution is to, like, pack your bags and run away to wherever pre-teen runaways go to? At least that’s what this 9-year-old girl planned to do:

think my little sister is overacting a bit all because she got grounded for a day 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/Bq08CAbQ5j

— NK (@nicole_kennedyy) March 21, 2017

When @nicole_kennedyy texted her younger sister to check up on her, she was met with a slew of drama. 

“The only thing that I like in my life is my friends, iPhone and my new house,” is an incredible statement. It’s something that only a young girl overreacting to being grounded or a drunk girl after a rough night out could say. Read more…

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Kid who can’t handle being grounded for a day overreacts like only a 9 year old can


TwitterFacebook

Ahh the pains of being 9 years old. All the angst of a teenager and no idea what to do with it. 

Sometimes the only solution is to, like, pack your bags and run away to wherever pre-teen runaways go to? At least that’s what this 9-year-old girl planned to do:

think my little sister is overacting a bit all because she got grounded for a day 😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/Bq08CAbQ5j

— NK (@nicole_kennedyy) March 21, 2017

When @nicole_kennedyy texted her younger sister to check up on her, she was met with a slew of drama. 

“The only thing that I like in my life is my friends, iPhone and my new house,” is an incredible statement. It’s something that only a young girl overreacting to being grounded or a drunk girl after a rough night out could say. Read more…

More about Teens, Twitter, Watercooler, and Watercooler

Teen who narrowly avoided being eaten by a crocodile did it all for love

Teen who narrowly avoided being eaten by a crocodile did it all for love

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Like Meatloaf said, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” And by that, he may’ve just meant swimming with crocodiles. Because that’s nuts.

Spare a thought for 18-year-old Lee De Paauw, who was reportedly trying to woo his love interest, British tourist Sophie Paterson, according to 9 News, when he got bitten by a crocodile in Queensland, Australia, on Sunday.

The pair had just met, and were sharing some great banter. De Paauw told Paterson about his theory that backpackers are more likely to get eaten by crocodiles than Australians. And because he’d drunk “10 cups of goon,” he decided to test the theory out. Read more…

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Teen who narrowly avoided being eaten by a crocodile did it all for love

Teen who narrowly avoided being eaten by a crocodile did it all for love

TwitterFacebook

Like Meatloaf said, “I would do anything for love, but I won’t do that.” And by that, he may’ve just meant swimming with crocodiles. Because that’s nuts.

Spare a thought for 18-year-old Lee De Paauw, who was reportedly trying to woo his love interest, British tourist Sophie Paterson, according to 9 News, when he got bitten by a crocodile in Queensland, Australia, on Sunday.

The pair had just met, and were sharing some great banter. De Paauw told Paterson about his theory that backpackers are more likely to get eaten by crocodiles than Australians. And because he’d drunk “10 cups of goon,” he decided to test the theory out. Read more…

More about Date, Love, Watercooler, Animals, and Crocodile

This drunk burglar stuck in the window of the store he robbed is all of our worst decisions

This drunk burglar stuck in the window of the store he robbed is all of our worst decisions

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Somehow, this makes perfect sense to us.

Authorities in France reported that an intoxicated burglar who returned to the scene of his crime ended up stuck inside the hole he created in a window. (I mean, of course.)

Here he is, in all his glory:

#Mauléon (64) Ivre, il cambriole un magasin mais reste coincé… dans la vitrine avant d’être interpellé ! #FallaitSeTenirÀCarreau👏#ThugLife pic.twitter.com/mCmYICDuXs

— GendarmerieNationale (@Gendarmerie) March 19, 2017

The Gendarmerie of the Pyrenees-Atlantiques explained in a Facebook post that police were dispatched to a store after a break-in was reported on Wednesday night, but the suspect fled the scene before their arrival. Read more…

More about France, Window, Stuck, Burglary, and Robbery

Of course Drake admits to drunk texting J-Lo on ‘More Life’


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For a fleeting, exquisite moment in December, we all thought Drake and J-Lo might be dating or at least collaborating.

They cuddledThey selfied. They reminded us we are on this Earth for only a heartbeat; there is only loving and being loved. And yet, when Drake’s new “playlist” More Life appeared on Saturday, there was no new track featuring Ms. Lopez. How cruel.

She’s gone, but not forgotten. In the opening track “Free Smoke,” Drake raps that he sends J-Lo messages while under the influence. Apparently, she has declined to update him with her new digits. Read more…

More about More Life, J Lo, Drake, Entertainment, and Music

Of course Drake admits to drunk texting J-Lo on ‘More Life’


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For a fleeting, exquisite moment in December, we all thought Drake and J-Lo might be dating or at least collaborating.

They cuddledThey selfied. They reminded us we are on this Earth for only a heartbeat; there is only loving and being loved. And yet, when Drake’s new “playlist” More Life appeared on Saturday, there was no new track featuring Ms. Lopez. How cruel.

She’s gone, but not forgotten. In the opening track “Free Smoke,” Drake raps that he sends J-Lo messages while under the influence. Apparently, she has declined to update him with her new digits. Read more…

More about More Life, J Lo, Drake, Entertainment, and Music

Police interrupt students’ group chat in the most spectacular way

Police interrupt students

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It’s not every day the police make a sudden guest appearance in your group chat.

Earlier in the week, 20-year-old Cardiff University student Lawrence Court received a fairly bizarre message on his phone.

“Hello, it’s the police on Cameron’s phone,” read the message. “He is very drunk and we are dropping him home.”

Image: twitter/@loafc7

Court told Mashable he and his friends were sceptical at first.

“We naturally thought it wasn’t real and that Ron (the guy involved) was playing us,” he explained.

You can tell from the second screengrab that people in the group weren’t entirely convinced. Read more…

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Adele is lurking us all from a secret Twitter account where she’s free to ‘drunk tweet’


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Hello. It’s me. I’m stalking people and drunk tweeting all up in your Twitter feed. 

Yes, Adele has reportedly fessed up to the fact that she runs her own top-secret Twitter profile, after her management team banned her from “drunk tweeting” on the official Adele account. Have you ever heard of anything so quintessentially Adele? 

Well, if you’ve been following her dirty-joke-telling, Elmo-meeting, hiding-in-a-box and fending off mosquitoes shenanigans Down Under the past few days, then yes, you probably have. But this takes the cake. 

The obvious question everyone wants answered is: Where is this magical, uncensored Adele account?  Read more…

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